Struggles, Failure, and Resilience

No matter how much my teachers tried to explain maths, I couldn’t see anything good come out of it. I didn’t like numbers. They didn’t make any sense to me. The harder I tried, the more frustrated I became.

I failed it so badly that I bundled both my maths teachers and the mathematics they taught into the category of “I don’t like them.” I didn’t know how to separate my frustration with failing mathematics from those who taught me.

Sometimes we ‘hate’ people, not because they are bad, but because we can’t see the solution they’re offering. We’re limited by our own frustration. So when someone feels upset and screams, “I don’t like you,” always ask yourself: Have I done something wrong?

Or are they trying to figure something out in their life and just don’t know how to go about it? When someone is struggling, even clarity can feel confusing.

I would not dare touch the mathematics book until the day before a test. Then I would memorize a few examples, and I would be so disappointed when the teacher brought different numbers in the test than the ones he had used in the examples.

I kept asking myself, “Why would they bring new numbers every time?” Well, they brought new numbers, but the methods did not change. I didn’t understand then that different rules apply when studying different subjects, both in school and in life.

Unlike history, where a date or definition is likely to remain the same, in mathematics, the numbers change, but the methods and procedures remain relatively constant.

We don’t study mathematics by the numbers—we study it by the rules and methods. And this is not just a mathematics thing. It’s a life thing, too.

When people don’t understand a thing, it’s not always because the method is wrong. Sometimes, they haven’t yet found the courage to believe they can learn differently.

Others expect to see the same numbers all the time, unaware that the numbers of the game change freely, but the methods remain relatively the same. But this understanding didn’t come easily.

One of my mathematics teachers, who shares a similar middle name with me, pronounced my grade in front of the whole class and said, “Tabe..., 'Zero.'” Those of us in different parts of the world know that’s a violation of a student's privacy.

A straight-up legal case, for showing a student's grade to the whole class and then using it to humiliate them. He didn't stop there; he read my score aloud and said, “These are the kinds of students who disgrace us,” then threw my paper on the ground (another violation!).

That was enough to break me into small pieces, like shattered glass. But for some reason, I summoned the courage to go and claim my paper. And that day marked a difference in my life for the good.

In life, there will be turning points — moments when you face your biggest fears — and you know that pushing forward or turning back both come at a cost. Courage is not something you find. It is something you create in the very moment you decide that enough is enough.

In between my struggles and repeated failures, I heard the story of the renowned Bible teacher, Pastor William Folorunso Kumuyi, founder and General Superintendent of the Deeper Christian Life Ministry.

He did not begin as a confident scholar. In his early academic years, he too struggled with mathematics. But one day, he made a decisive shift—he decided to take his assignments seriously.

He applied himself, completed every task, and eventually passed all his work. His teacher, impressed and delighted, congratulated him in front of the very peers who had once written him off.

That moment marked a turning point. Pastor Kumuyi went on to study mathematics at the University of Ibadan, graduating with a first-class degree. He later became a mathematics lecturer at the University of Lagos.

But his story didn’t end in academia. In 1973, while still teaching, he began a Bible study group with 15 students. That small group grew into the Deeper Life Bible Church, now one of the largest Christian movements in Africa

I was super inspired. I borrowed textbooks from a neighbor whose daughter. I let go of everything that distracted me and sat down and taught myself.  

I asked myself, "Why are you afraid of mathematics?" It’s made of numbers and letters, things I already know. I settled down and figured out how numbers and letters are handled under each topic. Lonely, long hours.

I didn’t learn everything then, but I learned enough to lay a strong foundation in mathematics. I knew enough mathematics to comfortably support many friends. Some told me, “I understand more when you explain it.”

But I’m not just telling you about mathematics. I’m telling you what I learned in the entire process: resilience. If everyone gives up on you, will you give up on yourself?

If you feel a lack—if something in your life is struggling, it’s most likely deficient in relevant knowledge. Get the relevant resources, study, and keep studying until you achieve victory.