The Tongue: An Unruly Evil, Full of Deadly Poison!

The Big Questions

How many people have died under the weight of our tongues? How many dreams, aspirations, joys, and moments of excitement have we poisoned with our tongues? Let’s make it real: Is someone’s misbehavior a license to spew bitter water from our tongue?

The apostle James asks at least four questions between verses 11 and 13, and it seems to me that one of the best ways to study the tongue as an unruly evil is to ask ourselves honest, reflective questions. So you see, I didn’t make this up; I’ve simply turned some portions of James 3 into questions so we can reflect on them together.

An Angry Tongue

Place your finger on verse 8: ‘But no one can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.’ An unruly and angry tongue is full of deadly poison. We are all too familiar with the danger of poisons, but the poison of the tongue is different; it kills dreams.

It poisons brilliant ideas. It poisons joy. It erodes confidence and corrodes a person’s sense of worth. It is deadly. The more the Lord opens my eyes to see the tongue in this way, the more I realize my own need for His grace.

Their throat is an open grave; with their tongues they have used deceit; the poison of asps is under their lips: Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness (Romans 3:13-14).

An Unruly Evil

The tongue is an unruly evil (James 3:8). With it we bless God, and with the same tongue we curse men who are made in the very similitude of God (James 3:9).

Sadly, some parents speak as though their authority gives them permission to insult their children, simply because they “gave birth to them.” Then they wonder why their children grow up wrestling with deep behavioral and emotional struggles.

But the truth is this: you may have used your tongue to curse them, and you have poisoned their confidence.

Bitter and Sweet Water?

Can a fountain bring forth both sweet and bitter water? This is why many children and those under us are confused. Our tongues have confused them. Today we speak sweetly, and tomorrow our mouths pour out bitter, very bitter, words. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. “…Whose mouth is full of cursing and bitterness.” (Romans 3:13-14).

No Justification

Bitter words are like dirty water poured on a sensitive plant. Even if we have good intentions, the plant will still perish. Are we going to blame the plant for not being strong enough? In the same way, Bitter words toward those under our care are no different. There is no justification for using cursed or bitter words.

It is often much easier to direct harsh, poisonous words toward those who cannot stand up to us than toward those who can. And we sometimes find ways to justify ourselves. I am not singling out parents, but do you know how easily parents excuse their misuse of the tongue?

Yet, when we reflect honestly, it is rarely because those under our care are “too tempting” or too difficult. Rather, it is because we forget that they are created in the similitude of God. James 3:9 reads, "Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God." When we forget this truth, we allow pressure to dictate our words, and in doing so, we risk poisoning rather than nurturing the souls entrusted to us.

That is the Point!

And when this truth finally settles deeply in our hearts, our tongues will become heavy, too heavy and tame to curse, too slow to pour out bitter water, too restrained to release poisonous venom, whether directly or indirectly.

Because all people, whether big or small, whether they can defend themselves or not, whether they have a voice to answer you or not, are the very image-bearers of God, made in the similitude of the Lord.

The Way Forward

Let us desire to help others grow in a healthy and positive way. Let us use our tongues to support the development of those in our care. When we do, we stop confusing their wrong behavior with our own.

Two wrongs never make a right. Take responsibility for your tongue. Go to God and ask Him for the wisdom to correct those under your care without wounding them through bitter words. And God, who gives wisdom liberally, will surely give it.

Let’s Reflect Again

• When last did you restrain your tongue from those who cannot defend themselves? When last did you hold back your words from those who are not strong enough to stand up to you when you speak?

• When last did you delete that poisonous email or text message, the one that could puncture someone’s entire day?

• Let’s ask ourselves when the hot poison is about to be released: Is someone’s misbehavior a license to spew bitter water from our tongue?

• When was the last time I apologized for the wrong use of my tongue?

SELAH: An unruly tongue is not just careless; it is deadly. It kills dreams, poisons ideas, and corrodes a person’s sense of worth – Tabe Abane