When a Brother Becomes a Publican

Have you ever wondered about the limits of forgiveness? When does my brother become a publican and a heathen? And do I have to forgive a publican seventy-seven times seven as I do my brother?

Many have suffered needlessly by trying to apply the same measure of forgiveness to every situation without discerning the relational context.

Peter once asked Jesus, “How often will my brother offend me and I forgive him? Seven times?” And Jesus said, “No, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

But notice what Peter said: My brother. He didn’t say “the publican” or “the heathen.” That distinction matters because the publican and the heathen do not play by the same rules.

They don’t share in the covenant of accountability and repentance that defines spiritual family.

Jesus Himself made this clear when He said that if a brother refuses to listen, even after every attempt at reconciliation, then he should be regarded as a publican and a heathen.

In other words, when a person consistently resists correction, hardens their heart, and refuses reconciliation, they step outside the boundaries of a brother.

They are no longer functioning as a brother within a covenant relationship. Now, this doesn’t mean we hate them or cast them off without compassion.

Rather, it means the terms of the relationship change. Brotherliness implies mutual submission, forgiveness, and restoration.

But when that is rejected, the relationship moves into a different category, one that no longer operates under the same expectations.

We should still love the person as our fellow human, but no longer be bound to treat them as a brother in fellowship, as you can’t impose fellowship on any.

The love remains, but the access changes. When Jesus said, “Let him be to you as a publican and a heathen,” He was not giving permission to hate or reject the person; He was teaching boundaries.

That statement wasn’t a sentence of condemnation; it was a call to wisdom. Jesus was saying, “Don’t continue exposing your heart to someone who keeps wounding it.”

“If it is possible, as much as it depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” (Romans 12:18).

Reflection Question: What boundary do I need to set to protect the peace God has given me?