𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙚, 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙜𝙧𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚𝙨

Our relationships need grace, not grudges. Yes, they may be imperfect, but they should be sincere—so be the first to forgive. However, forgiveness is not an excuse to avoid difficult conversations, to pretend a wrong never happened, or to declare that everything is okay when it’s not.

True forgiveness means refusing to let wrong define you or letting a person’s weakness control you. It’s the act of releasing someone from your personal judgment, setting yourself free from bitterness so you can respond with grace and strength of character instead of retaliation or vindictiveness.

Be the first to forgive, not because the other person deserves it, but because you deserve peace. And if you follow Christ, it’s a command He gave.

To be clear, this applies to everyday relationships, with friends, family, and spouses, where love is present, but we fall short. We become distracted, careless, or forgetful of each other's battles, and in the process, we hurt one another.

But this does not apply to abusive dynamics. Even Paul said, “Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil” (2 Timothy 4:14), and then warned Timothy, “Be on your guard against him also.” Paul recognized Alexander as a danger to the saints and responded accordingly, not with blind forgiveness but with wisdom and protection.

In cases of abuse, forgiveness looks different. Abusers may use our kindness as a gateway to do greater harm. The more we allow that unchecked, the more their hearts are enlarged toward evil. In such situations, boundaries, accountability, and safety come first. Forgiveness, in that context, is not reconciliation; it’s release. It’s letting go for your healing, not their comfort.

But in healthy, loving relationships, imperfect but sincere, be the first to forgive. Not to excuse, but to heal. Not to ignore the hurt, but to rise above it. Because love, not resentment, is how we win the quiet battles in our hearts.